


From Here

by chikaranari



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, Light Angst, M/M, Soonhoon - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-19 04:10:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7344382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chikaranari/pseuds/chikaranari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was one of their dinners together. Some things never change, Kwon Soonyoung will always late. Some things also have changed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	From Here

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by one of BuzzFeed's video ((although I found those video in the middle of writing this lol)) anyway, hmu at my twitter @.minghaoseyo if you enjoyed this~( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Lee Jihoon steps out from the bus, the palm of his hand is in contact with the falling snow. It’s the first snow of the year. He proceeds to take a walk to the small restaurant near the bus stop. It isn’t that special, even when the snow falls slowly from the sky, all the tables still remain cold. The classic wood fragrance emerges into Lee Jihoon’s smelling sense—the familiar aroma of a place he visits almost every week. Lee Jihoon picks the table that placed nearest to the window and the door. The waitress greets him and gives the pale man a menu. Even when his stomach already full from nothing, he has to order something.

“May I take your order, sir?”

“One americano, one mashed potato, one caramel macchiato, and one miso ramen, please. Don’t make it spicy for the ramen.” The waitress writes down Lee Jihoon’s order. The last two items are meant for Kwon Soonyoung—Lee Jihoon’s boyfriend for the last 3 years. It’s their late night dinner together, and some things never change—Lee Jihoon always comes early. Today, after looking at his watch Lee Jihoon realized he has arrived half an hour earlier. But he loves it. He loves to sit there alone, feeling the sweet serenade from the restaurant’s speaker, watching people passed by, writing lyrics randomly on his notes, staring at the flowers on the table that always change every day, or just playing with his food and not actually eating it. That night feels a little bit different for Lee Jihoon his mind is a mess and he can’t come up with any lyrics, the sweet serenade is replaced by some tear jerking playlist, and the snow keep raged out there—no one passed by. Unfortunate, Lee Jihoon thought. The messages that he sent to Kwon Soonyoung left unread. Lee Jihoon’s attention caught on something on his table then his cold fingertips graze on the warm jar of light baby’s breathe flowers.

***

Kwon Soonyoung stayed silent unlike the normal bouncy Kwon Soonyoung. He ate his dumplings without even dare to look at Lee Jihoon, and it was making Lee Jihoon uncomfortable since he himself is an awkward person. Lee Jihoon wanted to ask Kwon Soonyoung what is happening but his voice just won’t come out due to the overwhelming tension around them. But then the waitress came and placed a flat white coffee in front of Lee Jihoon. There was heart-shaped velvety micro foam on the top of the flat white coffee. Lee Jihoon didn’t remember anything about ordering a flat white coffee with a heart as topping. The waitress gave both of them a smile. From the edge of his sight, Lee Jihoon could see the waitress gave the man in front of him a fist behind her tray and mouthed ‘fighting’. Lee Jihoon could feel his face started to burn with the color of love from the nape of his neck and up to the tip of his ear. Kwon Soonyoung finally put his head up—facing Lee Jihoon that engulfed in heat.

“So, Jihoon, I know this cheesy but, I want to know more about you, we’ve been together as friend for a quite long time. I cherished each and every moment I spent with you. I do care about you a lot and I want you to know this, Lee Jihoon,” Even when Kwon Soonyoung already faced him. Lee Jihoon still looked at his shoes with his slender fingers fiddled together in nervousness. His heart beat faster and faster each second. He opened his mouth and closed it again, not sure about the words he’s about to say.

“I love you.” A faint voice of that man sitting in front of Lee Jihoon reached out into Lee Jihoon hearing sense. His eyes widened in disbelief. A friend of him just developed another stronger affection towards him, which he didn’t hate. Lee Jihoon slowly peeked through his fringe and his eyes immediately met Kwon Soonyoung’s deep brown orbs. Lee Jihoon averted his vision in seconds back to his shoes. He knew really well that his face right now are covered with both sweat and heated redness. The restaurant remained silent, there was no music background like usual, and the awkward pause ended with Lee Jihoon’s small nods. Lee Jihoon collected his courage to looked at Kwon Soonyoung’s face and he welcomed by Kwon Soonyoung flushed and a big smile stretched from ear to ear, showing his rabbit-like teeth. Kwon Soonyoung immediately ran to the front desk of that restaurant and retrieved a jar of light blue baby’s breath flowers. He then gave it to Lee Jihoon while giggling in happiness.

“I hope we get along really well.” Lee Jihoon stared at the jar, he got lost inside it. The light blue tint on each petal brought him in a peace. It was just pleasant things to look at. Lee Jihoon formed his lips into a smile—giggled at how cheesy this man can be. Kwon Soonyoung that sat across him took a tissue out.

“You’re sweating so much.” Kwon Soonyoung gave his best grin. He knew that Lee Jihoon really hates skinship so much that he didn’t even dare to wipe Lee Jihoon’s sweats—a realization form of his nervousness, even after the bond between them already tightened. Lee Jihoon wiped his sweats while smiling out of nowhere. Lee Jihoon then looked at the man in front of him, eating his dumplings like it was the most delicious dish in the world, eyes that keep smiling along with his lips and stuffed cheeks. Warmth just radiated from his whole presence and light up the whole room as if he is a ray of sunshine. Lee Jihoon can’t help to form another grin.

“You’re a thumbs up, Jihoonie.”

***

The waitress with a large tray is coming into Lee Jihoon’s table and taking him back to the reality. She places Lee Jihoon’s orders. Lee Jihoon rearranges the meals and drinks position—Americano and mashed potato in front of him, ramen and caramel macchiato in front of another chair that remained unoccupied. Lee Jihoon watched the steam from all the warm meals and drinks, especially Kwon Soonyoung’s miso ramen. The delicate smell of miso broth collided with the wood fragrance from the restaurant and creating a mild yet pleasant aroma. Lee Jihoon put his hands up and called the waitress.

“Can I have a bowl lid for this ramen, please?” Lee Jihoon learns something from Kwon Soonyoung that ramen will taste better when it still hot or at least warm. Lee Jihoon looked at the closed bowl of Kwon Soonyoung’s ramen again, he tries to kill his boredom. It’s already their meeting time, but Kwon Soonyoung is nowhere to be found, no message or call. Lee Jihoon takes a sip of his hot Americano. He then picks a spoon and scoops his warm mashed potato. It’s delicious, a right balance of salty and sweet soft mashed potatoes but he already feels full after one spoon of his meal.

Some things never change, Lee Jihoon rarely feels hungry and it makes Kwon Soonyoung worried.

Some things also have changed, Lee Jihoon decided to eat all of his meal today.

***

Lee Jihoon focus broke when his cell phone rang with a notification message from Kwon Soonyoung. He looked at the message and sighed after. It was Kwon Soonyoung asking if Lee Jihoon could eat dinner outside with him right now. Lee Jihoon’s salary came out late due to several minor problems in his job company. Inside his wallet, there are a few sheets of money but it just impossible to make it through the whole month if he’s gonna spend it tonight. Lee Jihoon explained everything to Kwon Soonyoung in hope Kwon Soonyoung would understand and leave him alone. But Kwon Soonyoung’s mind said the otherwise and he decided to run as fast as he can to Lee Jihoon’s apartment which he knew the address about three days ago. In an instant, a knock echoed throughout Lee Jihoon’s apartment. From the small noises outside, Lee Jihoon knew it was Kwon Soonyoung outside.

“Kwon Soonyoung’s emergency help is here!” Lee Jihoon only stared at the boy in front of him with confusion. A grocery bag on his left hand and another tote bag on his shoulder. Lee Jihoon opened the door and let Kwon Soonyoung enter his apartment for the first time. It was raining outside and Kwon Soonyoung’s coat can’t fight the madness of the storm outside. Lee Jihoon let the boy use one of his graphic t-shirt.

That night was cold yet inside the box room of Lee Jihoon filled with much warmness and simple joy. Kwon Soonyoung cooked three packets of his favorite instant noodle, along with some frozen vegetables. For a moment, Lee Jihoon thought everything was perfect, everything is perfect. A simple happiness provided by Kwon Soonyoung erased all of his concerns away.

That night was cold yet it was so delightful and mild. Kwon Soonyoung taught Lee Jihoon how to cook instant noodle in his way, a lesson to slip a hint of happiness between the uneasiness. Gag show on Lee Jihoon’s television that he never turns on, a pot filled with hot instant noodle, and a blanket covered their legs. Constant slurping sounds and raindrops fell against the concrete accompany Lee Jihoon and Kwon Soonyoung chatty night. Lee Jihoon never thought, his miserable month with a tight amount of money could be this cheerful. After the supper, both of them ditched the dishes and continued by them watching a tear-jerking drama series that currently playing on television. Lee Jihoon was watching Kwon Soonyoung squeezed out his tears from the unrealistic scene that would only happen in drama. Lee Jihoon passed him a box of tissue, replied by Kwon Soonyoung’s hoarse ‘thank you’. Kwon Soonyoung threw the blanket over Lee Jihoon shoulder as soon as the temperature kept dropping.

At that moment, Lee Jihoon realized that happiness can be found this easy, as long as he has Kwon Soonyoung. Lee Jihoon then threw half of his blanket over the crying man beside him. A cheeky grin formed on Kwon Soonyoung’s face that covered with a trail of tears, so did Lee Jihoon.

***

Am I going by seasons, alone?

Am I going by seasons, alone?

Why am I talking to myself alone?

I feel empty, like I am empty.

It’s already a habit of Lee Jihoon. He knew really well that Kwon Soonyoung will always late whenever it is. He knew that he better do some of his works in his house rather than waiting for Kwon Soonyoung here, in the same restaurant and same table just to eat their cold dinner. He knew something would never change from Kwon Soonyoung, but the miserable Lee Jihoon still arrived half an hour early. At the times like this, Lee Jihoon may look like a crazy man—sometimes he looked grumpy and the next second he would giggling from what passed by on his thoughts. He glances at another high schooler girl and boy settled themselves on the table pretty far from Lee Jihoon’s table. Them eating cake together—smiled and laughed at everything. Lee Jihoon pauses his pen from scribbling another words, he immersed himself once again to drown himself in such a simple happiness by enjoying the laughter from another love. He tries to fading off from the gloomy clouds around him and avoiding himself to write another depressing phrase.

Some things do change for Lee Jihoon. Even he himself didn’t know which one.

The snow keeps falling over and over again, the night has gone wildly cold for once again, and the time keep running without mercy. It has been one hour since their meeting time, and Kwon Soonyoung’s presence still blacked out by the unknowing shadow.

Tonight is a freeze and nothing but a piercing cold on his pale skin.

***

“Welcome!”

It was a bright noon. With their cap and loose shirts, Kwon Soonyoung dragged Lee Jihoon to that restaurant near the bus stop—the one that has subtle and pleasant wood fragrance inside. Kwon Soonyoung placed himself on the chair near the biggest window followed by Lee Jihoon behind him. The usual sweet melodies coincide with Kwon Soonyoung’s excitement—his legs followed the beat of those cherished love songs. He can’t hide his joyful feelings for a good day with sugar coated songs and refreshing fruit parfait.

“You wish someday you can hear your music anywhere in public, right?” Kwon Soonyoung murmured to Lee Jihoon. For a second Lee Jihoon startled by his boyfriend’s question, but his astonished look replaced by his chuckle, leaving Kwon Soonyoung puzzled and flustered by the rare appearance of Lee Jihoon’s small laughs. Lee Jihoon stared at the big window beside him. The blooming sunflowers danced along with the hot summer wind as if giving a warm wave to all blessed souls. Even the temperature wasn’t really friendly for skin, those perfectly curved smiles will keep plastered there and the never ending laughter will always echoed by the passing air. Lee Jihoon looked back at the guy in front of him.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Never give up on producing music then. I’ll keep cheering for you.”

“If you say so, help me write some lyrics.”

“Eyyy, I’m a master for some sexy lyrics. Don’t underestimate me!” Kwon Soonyoung played with his eyebrows movement, making Lee Jihoon covered in the color of fully ripe strawberry that matched with Kwon Soonyoung’s gigantic fruit parfait.

“Amaze me with your sexy lyrics, Kwon Soonyoung.” Lee Jihoon sudden sentence made Kwon Soonyoung stopped his spoonful of strawberry yogurt from its way to his mouth. Kwon Soonyoung learned Lee Jihoon’s current form. Red and heated from the tip of his ears to the crook of his neck, stuttered laughs, one cheek on his palm of hand. Kwon Soonyoung can’t help but joined Lee Jihoon’s laughter. Kwon Soonyoung took another spoon and began to feed Lee Jihoon with dollop of yoghurt and pieces of chopped fruits. Although Lee Jihoon isn’t a big fan of sweet things, he let the entrance opened for Kwon Soonyoung. For the sake of his happiness.

It was a hot day for sure, and it was one of the brightest Lee Jihoon that Kwon Soonyoung has ever seen.

“How am I going to amaze you if the thoughts of me writing sexy lyrics already make you covered in red?”

Some things do change through the good path.

***

The lights keep illuminating the soundless street, covered by the white frozen blanket. The rage snow queen has been cool down already and stop the bawling, leaving the last batch of her tears drizzling in peace. Lee Jihoon’s bowl of mashed potato already clean, his Americano left in half. The love bird couple already left the restaurant, leaving Lee Jihoon unoccupied once again. A melancholy melody of acoustic ballad songs getting mixed with subtle sounds of falling snows and ticking clock hand, creating a peaceful yet anxious harmony within Lee Jihoon’s mind.

Some things never change, Lee Jihoon always producing music with everything he heard.

Some things also have changed, it’s mostly a depressing melodies.

Lee Jihoon keeps thinking over and over again about his decision, not wanting to regret everything after realized the undo button exist nowhere as vast as this reality could be. His choice isn’t final yet but the world keep spinning around and the stepping sounds from a far keep rising in term of volume, gradually. It gets bitter each seconds, Lee Jihoon laughs at every stupid moment as he reminisced them. Lee Jihoon’s feet starting to move in repetitive taps against the wood flooring, giving a start to his trembling form as the uneasiness rising to its peak. Sometimes he grins, either because he remembers another dumb scene or simply disguises his pain.

Some things never change, the anxiety that comes and gone while waiting for Kwon Soonyoung

Some things also have changed, it doesn’t stay too long this time.

“Welcome!” As Lee Jihoon hears the greeting coming from the waitress lips, he stays still. Lee Jihoon’s back faced the guy in a long coat and covered in a thin layer of sweats despite the coldness outside.

“Hi.” Lee Jihoon turned around to the source of that slightly husky voice. He is showing the best smile Lee Jihoon could ever ask, Lee Jihoon replied him with another stroke of his beautiful curved smile. The two of them now sitting together, that cold chair in front of Lee Jihoon isn’t unoccupied anymore. There’s another presence in front of Lee Jihoon right now, there’s another man filled every possible inch of Lee Jihoon’s vision right now, there’s another voice and humming other than Lee Jihoon’s self-made depressing melodies, there’s another warmth lingering around and fighting against the coldness of the first snow, there’s another sweet and fragrant smell slipping between that wooden aroma, yet Lee Jihoon can’t help to notice how translucent those things are. Both of them stay still as if the snow queen cast a freezing spell on them. Lee Jihoon stops his tapping against the wood flooring and his fingers starting to fiddle between each other, the cold-sweat starting to make their way towards Lee Jihoon’s chin. None of them are talking.

Lee Jihoon noticed that Kwon Soonyoung is looking at his clean bowl. Kwon Soonyoung is about to say something when he decided to clasped his lips again.

Some things never change, Kwon Soonyoung will always look at Lee Jihoon before he eats just to make a sure everything is at its pace.

Some things also have changed, Kwon Soonyoung decided to seal up his mouth.

Kwon Soonyoung pulls out his cell phone from his pocket. Lee Jihoon is taking another sip from his Americano, his self-made melancholy melodies getting louder inside his head, his heart beats along with the depressing sounds, his thoughts tangled in mess together, more and more cold sweat take their freedom. All of them creating the worst and the loudest silence Lee Jihoon have ever been. Kwon Soonyoung keeps looking at his cell phone screen, sometimes huffing a sigh, sometimes he put his palm on his face, and some other time he looks like he is about to say something. Kwon Soonyoung finally picks up his chopstick and takes off the bowl lid of his miso ramen. Kwon Soonyoung inhales the remaining steam.

“It’s so weird that you already finished your meal, Jihoon.”

Some things never change, Kwon Soonyoung knows that it is a rare occasion in which Lee Jihoon finishes his meal.

Some things also have changed, Kwon Soonyoung doesn’t address Lee Jihoon in a cute way as he always did.

“Yeah,” Lee Jihoon takes another sip from his Americano while Kwon Soonyoung put his chopstick back. The table is stay still, nothing more and the conversation becoming dead once again. Lee Jihoon gulps in nervousness, Lee Jihoon shuts his eyes tightly, Lee Jihoon fights the stinging pain on his head, Lee Jihoon isn’t looking at Kwon Soonyoung, he is looking at his shoes instead—things that he does when he is uncomfortable. This soundless scene is killing him slowly and in the most painful way possible. Lee Jihoon keeps noticing Kwon Soonyoung lips that just about to announce something. Lee Jihoon knows that Kwon Soonyoung has something to say in his mind, it is just really hard for him to say and Kwon Soonyoung himself is still unsure about it. It boils Lee Jihoon, it is making Lee Jihoon just pissed and Lee Jihoon lost control over his mind.

“Are you going to say something?” Lee Jihoon finally explodes. Lee Jihoon lost sight over his voice volume. That empty restaurant has gone to dead silent for a moment, all the staff suddenly looking at those two who is sitting next to the window. Lee Jihoon hyperventilates due to the sudden act of screaming in front of his boyfriend. Kwon Soonyoung shuts his eyes, he is still looking at his cell phone but his whole body trembling.

“I’m sorry.” Lee Jihoon put his head up, looking directly to Kwon Soonyoung. But that man in front of him refuses to look at Lee Jihoon.

“Just look at me, Soonyoung.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying sorry, Soonyoung. I’m getting sick of it.”

“I’m sorry that all I can say is sorry.” Kwon Soonyoung curled up more—his head towards his chest. He knows Lee Jihoon is mad at him.

“Kwon Soonyoung,” Lee Jihoon is tired, he finally grabs one of Kwon Soonyoung’s slender wrist. Lee Jihoon can feel the tension all over Kwon Soonyoung skin. Lee Jihoon caresses Kwon Soonyoung’s wrist and brushes the tension away. Kwon Soonyoung grabs his cell phone more tightly, tears start to roll down on Kwon Soonyoung’s face, Kwon Soonyoung feels every inch of Lee Jihoon soft touches.

Some things never change, Kwon Soonyoung always loves Lee Jihoon’s soft touched from his cold fingertips.

Some things also have changed, it’s going to be the last time Kwon Soonyoung feels Lee Jihoon’s soft touches.

Tonight is a first snow of the year, everything coated in the white blanket, and everyone is excited about the snow queen appearance. As the moon keep rising to his throne, the neon lights of the busy metropolitan city start to fade out.

“Soonyoung, we have to break up.”

Tonight, the chair in front of the crying man is getting colder and left unoccupied. The soft touch that he always adored suddenly vanishes along with those neon lights.

Some things never change, Kwon Soonyoung will always late.

Some things also have changed, Lee Jihoon leaves too early.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm gonna continue the sequel of 'You Can't Go Anywhere' once the repackage album out bc you know why ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


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